


A Conversation Between Friends

by LSquared1501



Category: Divergent Series - Veronica Roth
Genre: Friendly Converstion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:41:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28439280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LSquared1501/pseuds/LSquared1501
Summary: This is how I feel the conversation between Four/Tobias and Shauna was like when he told her about Tris. It definitely wasn’t him just saying she was a Stiff.
Kudos: 6





	A Conversation Between Friends

Tobias-

I'm sitting at a table by myself in the dining hall with only a mug of coffee. I don't think my stomach could handle food after the night I've had. It's a little earlier than I usually come to breakfast, but I've been up most of the night. After I was notified of what had happened in the transfer-initiates' dormitory, I went to talk with Max and then to the infirmary to check on Edward. After he was stable and awake, he'd decided not to stay in Dauntless. I can't really blame him after being stabbed in the eye. I halfway still can't believe it happened.

To my knowledge there's never been something like this happening during the weeks of initiation. Sure, the competition is fierce, but never to the point where one initiate was willing to seriously injure another just to be ranked first. I can't help but blame Eric and the other Dauntless leaders and the thought makes my blood boil. Without the new ruthless rules and initiates being cut, I don't think this would've happened. It looks to me like Peter took Eric's example of cruelty to heart and that's probably why he felt he could get away with what he did. It's despicable, but there's nothing I can do about it. Max made that crystal clear last night. Maybe I could have if I'd joined the leadership when it was offered to me, but I hadn't and now I'm paying for that decision. It's partly irrational to feel that way, I know, because I never could've foreseen this happening, but I've heard hindsight is 20/20.

I feel terrible for Edward and Myra because now they're both factionless, having no choice but to live in poverty and rely on the kindness of Abnegation for the rest of their lives. There was no doubt that Myra wasn't going to make the cut, but it looked like Edward, if he did well in the simulation phase, would be neck-in-neck for first place with Uriah or Lynn from the Dauntless-borns. Now Peter is first and I wish I could throw him out, too. I already talked to Max, but it was no use. I still had to try, though. He told me that there was no proof that it was Peter, and I assume Drew, as well, since he goes wherever Peter does, so I had to let it go.

It almost makes me wish more than ever that I'd made a different choice on my Choosing Day, that I'd chosen a different faction. Maybe it would've been Amity. I certainly wasn't going to stay in Abnegation and under the thumb of Marcus for the rest of my life. And although I've been happier and more free than I can remember here, Dauntless isn't what I'd hoped it would be. We're going in the wrong direction, the way the leadership has changed. It's just wrong, not what Dauntless is supposed to be about. I'd wanted to come here to learn how to defend myself against any threat to my person and be free of Marcus, but I've just traded one hell for a slightly lesser hell. It was why I'd decided to join the factionless after I'd trained this year's initiates. That plan was now blown to hell, though.

If Tris Prior hadn't literally dropped into my life, I don't think I'd feel so conflicted. Now, after having met her and gotten to know her a little better, there's no way I can leave her. The only way I'll go is if she doesn't make the cut and has to become factionless. In all honestly I don't even know her that well, not as much as I'd like to, but I already know that I'll stay or go wherever she goes. And that thought scares the hell out of me. I've never had that type or strong of a feeling for anyone before.

I'm so lost in my thoughts and scowling into my coffee that I'm not immediately aware that I'm no longer alone at my table. Shauna, one of the few actual friends I have here in Dauntless, has sat down in front of me with a plate of food and two mugs of coffee. I assume the second is for me. I know I'm right when she slides the mug across the table toward me. It's perfect timing because I only have what looks like to be one mouthful left of the mug I already have.

"Hey, Four, what are you doing here so early?" she asks. Shauna is a guard on the fence so she must've just come back from a night shift. She's probably planning to go to bed after she eats.

"I was up almost all night in the infirmary with an initiate and I don't feel like sleeping yet." The truth is that I _can't_ sleep. My mind is too busy ruminating over the situation with Edward and Peter and thoughts of Tris. I don't mind telling Shauna the truth, well, part of the truth. She's one of three people in this whole compound that I can talk the most freely with. The other two being Zeke, her boyfriend and my best friend, and Tori, one of our tattoo artists.

"Why? What happened?" Her voice is full of alarm.

"The transfer who was ranked first, Edward, was stabbed in the eye with a butter knife while he was sleeping," I say simply.

A look of horror crosses her face. "Oh, my God! Do you know who did it and why?"

"Yeah. The initiate who was ranked second, his name is Peter, did it so he could be first," I say with disgust.

"Is he okay?" Shauna asks.

"He lost the eye, but he'll live." My voice is flat. "He's factionless now and so is his girlfriend. She chose not to continue training without him."

Shauna is silent with shock, her breakfast forgotten. "Does Max and the other leaders know?" I nod. "What did they do? Did they kick this Peter guy out?"

I laugh, but there's no humor. "Are you kidding, Shauna? You know what it's been like the last few years, especially after Eric became a leader. Max and the others won't do a damn thing because he said we can't prove it was Peter! I'm pretty sure his lackey, Drew, was in on it too. There's no cameras in the dormitory and it was dark so no one saw anything until it was too late."

Shauna sits there with nothing to say for a minute and then she says, "So what happened after he was stabbed?"

"Another initiate found Zeke and he sent Shelia from the infirmary, then came to get me. Will, another transfer, told me that he heard a loud thud and then screaming. Someone else turned the lights on to see what was going on. He saw the knife in Edward's face and went running. By the time I got there, there was a huge pool of blood surrounding his head on the floor and Shelia and Tris were trying to keep him calm so he didn't try to yank the knife out himself. Apparently he was begging them to. Tris was level-headed enough to know not to and kept him from doing it before Shelia got there and agreed with her."

"Did she transfer from Erudite? That sounds like something an Erudite would know," Shauna says, curiosity in her voice.

"No, she's the one from Abnegation."

"That's right. I remember now, she was the first jumper. Well, helping someone is what Stiffs do, right?" she asks. Shauna is also one of a handful of people who know where I came from. She doesn't say the word Stiff in the mocking manner like it's usually meant to be taken. It's a little running joke between me, her, and Zeke, so I don't mind it when they say it. I just nod to her question.

Shauna cocks her head as she looks at me and begins eating her breakfast, which is probably mostly cold by now. She doesn't say anything, but she keeps looking at me. It's a bit unnerving.

I can't take it anymore so I finally say, "What?"

"So how is the Stiff doing?" I know her well enough that I know there's an undercurrent to her question.

I shrug as I choose my words carefully and answer, "She's a Stiff, what do you expect." I try to keep my voice as indifferent as I can.

She smiles and says, "You were a Stiff and look how well _you_ did." No matter how I feel about Dauntless now, I still feel a smidgen of pride at my accomplishment. No one expected me to do as well as I did, except maybe Amar, my initiation trainer before he died. I certainly wasn't expected to rank first, beating Eric in the process. That fills me with a great amount of satisfaction and pride. "So?"

"She's a fast learner, faster than you'd think, and improving everyday. She's practically fearless and faces every challenge with determination and courage like I've never seen before," I say with conviction and enthusiasm. "If she continues to improve like she is and does well with the simulations, she definitely won't be cut. I'm amazed at how well she's adjusted, too. There's no denying Tris belongs here in Dauntless."

Shauna doesn't say anything, but she gives me a strange smile that I've never seen. I suspect that I didn't hide my admiration for Tris as much as I'd hoped. I decide to take the direct approach. "Why are you smiling at me like that, Shauna?" Suspicion lacing every word.

"Oh, no reason," she says as she grins into her coffee mug before taking a sip.

I roll my eyes and say, "Come on, Shauna, I know you better than that. Don't torture me and just tell me what you're thinking. You know you will eventually anyway." I smirk at her. Shauna likes to tell you her opinion whether you want it or not. _She'd have done well in Candor if she'd left Dauntless_ , I think with a grin to myself.

"Well, it's just I've never heard you describe an initiate like that. You were barely impressed with the transfers last year, and so far you've barely told me and Zeke anything about the ones this year, but you can't say enough about her. And you say her name differently than I've heard when you _do_ talk about someone." _Damn,_ I think.

"I do not!" I say, trying to defend myself. I can see that I'm not fooling her.

"Four, you know I know you better than that, too, so don't try to play dumb with me," she says sternly. "You're not just impressed by her as an initiate, you're impressed by her as a person. Don't tell me I'm wrong because you know I'm right," she says in a superior tone.

Oh, hell, she's one of my best friends and I can't lie to her. "All right, all right, yes, you're right. I like her. Are you happy now?" I ask, exasperated.

A triumphant grin covers her face and she says, "Exceedingly. So what are you going to do about it?"

"Nothing," I say, scowling.

"Why not?" Shauna demands.

I pinch the bridge of my nose in frustration. "Because she's an initiate and I'm her instructor."

"And?"

" _And_ don't you think that's a line I shouldn't cross?" I ask.

"I don't see what the big deal is." She shrugs.

"If I act on my feelings now and people found out, do you think they might be suspicious that I gave her higher scores just because I wanted her to stay and not because she actually earned them?"

She scoffs. "You'd just have to hide it until after she's made a member, if she's as good as you say she is."

"She is," I reply firmly.

"Okay, so here's my advice. Don't actively seek her out, but if the opportunity happens to present itself, take it. You know that the weeks during initiation are when most relationships are formed." I know she's right because that's when her feelings for Zeke began and it wasn't too long after it was over that they became a couple. "If you at least let her know how you feel, maybe she won't form an attachment to a fellow initiate. Then once Initiation Day has passed and she's a member, you can officially ask her out."

I nod. Her advice is sound.

"Does it look like she might be interested in anyone else?" Shauna probes.

I shake my head. "No. Her focus is completely on training."

"What about another initiate being interested in her?"

I take a moment to go over the behavior of the other initiates. Edward and Myra were already a couple, but they're out now. Peter and Drew definitely aren't an issue. Will and Christina look to be headed in the direction of dating, so that leaves Al. I've definitely seen the way he looks at Tris and it's not just as a friend.

"There's one: Al. He's the really big guy who kept losing his fights during the first phase."

"Yeah, I've heard about him," she says. "And you don't think she returns his sentiments?"

"No. She ranked above him in the first phase and eventually his feelings aren't going to be favorable toward her."

"What makes you say that?" Shauna's voice is puzzled.

"Because he sees her as the small girl from Abnegation who needs protecting and help to get through initiation and that's the last thing Tris wants. He's not going to appreciate the inner strength and drive she has when he finally sees it. He may be big and strong compared to her, but it's her character and determination which sets her above him. She's going to succeed where he's going to fail and when he realizes that, he's going to resent it and her refusal to be the little girl who wants his protection. Tris wants to be treated as an equal because of her achievements and it's no less than what she deserves. She's proved to me over and over that she chose the right faction." I feel like I've said more than I probably should have, even though Shauna's my friend, but I couldn't stop the words. There's truth behind everyone one of them. I can feel that Tris is going to do excellent with the simulations coming up and then everyone is going to see what I see: that she belongs here. I have no doubt she's going to earn her place as a Dauntless member. I just hope her other friends don't resent her after they realize it, too.

"Wow," Shauna says, obviously stunned at my little speech.

I'm beginning to feel a little self-conscious now. I've never shown interest in a girl in the two years I've been here and I can tell Shauna knows my feelings run deeper than just mere interest in a girl I might like. I'm surprised at myself to tell the truth. There's just something about Tris that draws me in. I've felt it since I first saw her, and I know that I don't want to lose her before I've even had a chance to be with her, if she feels the same way. So, I'm going to take Shauna's advice and not squander an opportunity to let her know how I feel if one arises. I just hope it's sooner rather than later.

Shauna and I talk about inconsequential topics after that as she finishes her breakfast. I down the last of my cold coffee and decide I'm going to try to get some sleep. As I head to the hallway leading to my apartment and her down another, she calls out that they're planning on zip lining today and asks if I want to join them. I know it's a joke because she knows about my fear of heights. I wave her off with a laugh and tell her to have a good day. She smiles and disappears from my sight. Once I'm back in my room, I lay down. I'm dead tired and it doesn't take me long to fall asleep. The last thing I remember is the look on Tris's face after our victory during capture the flag. Her grin had lit up the night like the sun.

* * *

I've just finished an early dinner and I decide to call it a night. I'm even more exhausted than I was this morning even though I managed to catch a couple hours of sleep. After I woke up I went to the transfer dormitory to check on everyone. The first thing that I noticed was that Tris wasn't there while her friends were. The next thing was that the blood on the floor was mostly scrubbed clean with only a faint stain to show what had taken place there only hours before. I learned after talking to Christina that she helped Tris clean it up after we'd taken Edward to the infirmary.

Of course she did, I thought, knowing it was the Abnegation still in her that would make her do it. I'd thought I might need to call maintenance or that I'd clean it myself when I got there. I thought it was still a good idea to bleach the area so I called in the request. I still felt on edge after I left the dormitory so I went to the training room and spent a long time punching out the tension in my body. It helped to clear my mind a great deal. I then went to the control room for a bit, trying to distract my thoughts from Tris and where she'd been.

I didn't dare ask about Tris before I'd left, not wanting her friends to be suspicious of why I'd be asking specifically about her. I had the idea that she was probably walking around the compound, wanting to be alone. It wasn't until after I couldn't find her anywhere on the monitors later, unaware that I'd been searching for her, that I remembered Shauna saying her and Zeke were taking some of the Dauntless-born initiates and others out for the tradition of zip lining. I'd vaguely wondered if maybe Tris had been invited to tag along. It wasn't often than an invitation was extended to a transfer, but sometimes an exception was made, like with me. I had really not enjoyed it and haven't ever gone again. I know it would be something that Tris would definitely enjoy, though.

My theory was proved correct when I saw Tris walk into the dining hall in the midst of Uriah, Marlene, Lynn, Shauna and Zeke. Her hair was a wind-blown mess, her cheeks still red from the exhilaration and she was smiling from ear to ear. I'd been captivated by the beautiful sight. I hope that no one had seen how long I'd stared at her. I was just glad that I'd kept my jaw from hitting the floor. I've never once had any interest in a girl before, even in Abnegation, something people have noticed, so it would've been amusing for others to see my obvious attraction to Tris. I chuckle to myself at what others would think that my attention had finally been caught.

I'm halfway down the first hallway to my apartment when I hear footsteps approaching quickly from behind me and then a shout. "Hey, Four, wait up!" It's Shauna. I stop and turn around to wait for her to catch up to me.

"So, did you have fun potentially hurtling to your death?" I ask with a grin.

Shauna grins back and nudges my shoulder playfully as she says, "You know it's perfectly safe."

I nudge her back and say, "No, I _don't_ know that."

She cocks her head and says with what can only be described as an evil grin, "Someday, Four, we're going to get you back into that sling, mark my words."

"Don't bet on it," I say and laugh. There's no way in hell they're ever going to get me to go zip lining again.

Shauna becomes more serious and says, "I thought I might tell you that I got an up close and personal look at your girl this afternoon."

"I know, I saw her come in with you guys," I reply. I decide to let the comment go about Tris being _my_ girl. _At least, not yet,_ I think to myself and ask, "And what did you think?"

I hold my breath as I wait for her judgement. I hope she sees in Tris what I do. I'd really hate for one of my best friends to not like the girl I hope is eventually my girlfriend, my first girlfriend. Because if she doesn't it would make it extremely awkward and not overly pleasant when we'd all spend time together.

Shauna's expression is blank for a few moments and I start to worry, but then she smiles and I let out a breath of relief. "I think you're right, she's definitely something special. I saw that courage you spoke about this morning and I agree that Tris belongs here with us." I can't help the smile that overtakes my face at her favorable assessment and her use of the word 'us'. It means she accepts Tris and would be more than happy for her to join our small group of friends.

"I'm glad I'm not the only one to see it," I say. "How did she end up being invited, though, since she's a transfer?" My curiosity gets the better of me and I want to know, as most transfer initiates aren't included in the zip lining.

Shauna shrugs, "Uriah found her sitting alone in a hallway. He knew about what happened in the dormitory and thought it might cheer her up. A couple of the others weren't thrilled that she went, especially Lynn, but Uriah insisted." I wonder if maybe Uriah might be interested in Tris if he was insistent she go. I push the worry that I might have competition aside for now. It can be dealt with later.

I roll my eyes at hearing Dauntless-borns wouldn't be happy with a transfer, and a Stiff at that, going with them.

Shauna sees it and continues, "They were cooler with her going after Uri explained about the stabbing last night."

I'm glad they decided to show some compassion and let her go without too much unkindness. "So, did she like it?" I ask, already knowing the answer, but still wanting to hear about it from Shauna's perspective.

"Absolutely! She didn't scream in terror at all! It was more of a joyful shout. She'd also spread her arms out and she looked like a graceful bird swooping toward the ground."

I smile, easily able to picture what she's describing.

"Well, I just wanted to reiterate what I told you this morning," Shauna says, seriousness taking over her jovial attitude.

I raise my eyebrow in question. There were a few things she told me this morning. I think I know what she's referring to, though.

"Try not to let her slip through your fingers if you can. I think you'd both be very good for each other. And, Four," she says, lightly touching my forearm, "I'm happy for you that you've found someone so special. I hope to go on double dates sometime in the future."

She winks at me and I laugh, remembering the one and only disastrous double date with Zeke and a girl before he got with Shauna. It was soon after initiation was over and my portion of the date lasted only about five minutes after we'd eaten and Zeke went off with his date. It would be different with Tris. I know that any date with her wouldn't be a disaster. It would be nothing short of wonderful.

"Thanks, Shauna. I hope so, too," I say with sincerity, filled with gratitude for my friend's genuine wish for my happiness. God knows I've had so little of it in my relatively short lifetime.

"I'll see you later," she says and turns back in the direction of the dining hall.

I call out a goodbye and start back toward my apartment, feeling lighter than I have in a long time. I realize I'm greatly looking forward to the future and smile as I walk.


End file.
